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"Sorry, sis," Ebony said,
walking up and embracing Copper.
"For what, Ebb?" Copper asked
as they made their way over to the champagne and
sparkling apple cider, amidst the well wishes
that were showered upon the bride.
"The bouquet,"
she explained. "I was trying to get it to you. I
didn't see your roomie standing there. Everyone
knows that Pepper thinks she's getting older."
"We all are." Copper
chuckled.
"You know what I mean. She
thinks that if you're not married by the time
you're thirty, you are over the hill,
automatically washed up. And she's
twenty-seven."
"I keep telling her she has a
lot to learn," the twenty-eight year old
responded as she picked up two full glasses,
handing one to her sister, who was two years her
junior and one year younger than Mahogany.
"Did you think about our
father at your wedding, too?" the bride
inquired, softly.
"Yes, I did, Ebb," admitted
Copper. "I wondered if he knew… if he cared. I
mean, Aunt Birdie was here, but, just like at my
wedding and Mahogany's, too, she didn't even
mention his name. There's something about the
way she looks at us though. I can't put my
finger on it."
Copper wondered whether Aunt
Birdie, her dad's sister, had any information
that would help them better understand why he
left.
"I still find myself wishing
that he was here," Ebony shared, wiping away a
tear.
"I know." Copper put an arm
around her younger sister's shoulder. "Anyway,"
she held her glass in the air and continued, "to
the beginning of a new, wonderful life."
They clinked glasses and
sipped the sparkling apple cider.
"Is it, sis?" Ebony asked,
with a look so serious that Copper felt
something pull at her heart even more. "Will it
be wonderful?"
Before answering, Copper
looked over at the groom, who was smiling and
shaking hands with everyone in range, and she
remembered how eight years ago Bobby, her groom,
had hardly smiled at all.
"Yes, Ebb, I
think Edward will make a very good husband. I
believe you will be very happy together."
"Coming from
you, Copp, that means a lot," Ebony
acknowledged. "I know how psychic you can be
sometimes. Boy, do I know. You told me that I
would marry him someday when I first introduced
you to Edward three years ago when you came back
for my college graduation."
"Did I?"
"You did."
"Hmmm."
"How do you do it, sis?"
"Ebony, I really don't know.
Sometimes I get these intuitive feelings. I used
to ignore them when I was younger, and they
stopped happening for a while. Then they started
again, and I noticed that the more I heeded
them, the more I would get them." She looked
over Ebb's shoulder and saw their mother,
Mahogany, and the photographer heading towards
them. "Like, right now, I get the feeling that
our picture is about to be taken."
Ebony turned and saw them,
too.
"Oh, I'm beginning to get the
hang of it now," she said as they both laughed.
"And what's so funny?"
Mahogany inquired with a smile.
"The future," said Ebb,
putting an arm around each sister.
"Let's hope
you will be able to say that in the
future," their mother said pointedly.
"Opal!" Copper reprimanded
jokingly.
Anyone not knowing any better
would think that the four of them were sisters.
Opal was in her late forties, but still
maintained the good looks and figure passed on
to her daughters.
The photographer was very
professional as he positioned them and took the
pictures with the minimum of conversation. His
eyes locked with Copper's at one point and
suddenly she got the feeling that she knew him.
Upon closer scrutiny she realized what it was.
He slightly resembled her ex-husband. An inch
shorter, perhaps, and more mature looking, but
the way his eyes sparkled when he smiled was
like her ex, and the square-jawed strong
masculine look was how she envisioned Bobby
would look in his thirties.
"Mommy, can we
get in the pictures?" Copper turned to see her
seven and a half-year old daughter, Tiffany,
looking up at her. She was holding Mahogany's
two-year old, Tanzia, by the hand.
"And who might you be?" the
friendly photographer asked.
"My name is
Tiffany," she replied proudly, "and who might
you be?"
"My name is Doug," he
answered, laughing at how grown up she appeared.
"Which one of these ladies is your mother?"
"She is," the little girl
pointed at Copper and went to stand beside her.
"And I know
who your mommy is," Doug said to Tanzia.
"You sure do." Mahogany
smiled, picking her up.
The photographer posed them
all for several shots as Aunt Birdie stood
behind him snapping her little camera.
"Wow," he admired. "Three
generations of beautiful black women. And Mrs.
Patterson, you are the prettiest grandmother I
have ever had the privilege of photographing."
Opal beamed as Copper,
Mahogany and Ebony looked at each other and
smiled, shaking their heads.
The next morning Copper arose
early. When they were growing up, Opal had taken
them all to church every Sunday morning
diligently. However, upon reaching adulthood,
her sisters discontinued weekly services,
although they still went occasionally. Copper,
on the other hand, had carried on, even while in
college. She belonged to Seekers—a
non-denominational church of religious science
in Washington, D.C. Whenever Copper was in
Atlanta on a Sunday she attended services at
Hillside, which had the same type doctrine.
When she mentioned to Tiffany
that she would be going to church in the morning
her daughter asked to go along. Tiffany was very
bright in school. Copper wanted to expose her to
different ideas to help her grow mentally.
They sat through the sermon
on "Visualization" and immediately went to
brunch downtown at the Hyatt on Peachtree
Street. Then they decided to go to the zoo and
finally back to Opal's house.
It was a lovely summer
afternoon for some mother and daughter bonding.
They didn't have the opportunity often. In fact,
the last time just the two of them had gone out
to eat together was over a year ago, the night
that Copper got upset with Tiff for playing a
trick on her. They were at a restaurant
celebrating Tiffany's birthday, and Tiffany
decided to play hide and seek without Copper's
consent. That caused a momentary scare until the
little girl reappeared.
This evening Copper would fly
back to D.C. and Tiffany would, as usual, remain
with Opal. As they were driving back to Stone
Mountain, Copper asked the question that had
been bothering her for a while. She was bothered
because she felt guilty having to leave Tiffany.
Due to her busy work schedule, Copper didn't
have a whole lot of free time to spend with
Tiff. For the best interest of her daughter,
Copper made the difficult decision to allow Tiff
to stay with Opal.
"Tiffany, do you mind living
with Grandma?"
"No ma'am, I like it. All of
my friends and relatives are here," she replied
earnestly. "But you know, when the preacher this
morning was saying how by visualizing what you
want and believing that it will happen, you can
make it so?"
"Yeah?"
"Well, Mommy," she said,
turning to face her in the seat. "I can see
myself living with you in Washington like you
told me I'd do when I start high school. And I
visualize us having a father living with us,
too."
"Father? You mean your
daddy?"
"Well, I know we haven't seen
Daddy in years," the little girl went on. "And I
know you always tell me that Daddy still loves
me and that you like Daddy, but I don't think
Daddy is the one I see. He's not coming back,
and we don't want him back. Do we, Mommy?"
"No, baby, we don't," Copper
agreed as her eyes watered with delight at the
understanding of her little lady.
"So, Mommy, I'm going to
visualize a new daddy. I'm going to keep
visualizing until it happens, and we're going to
be happily ever after. Okay, Mommy?"
"Okay, little girl," Copper
acknowledged warmly, squeezing her small hand.
Copper welcomed the help.
Ever since her divorce four years ago, she had
been waiting for the right guy to come along.
Somewhere out there she knew there had to be a
man who would fall in love with her and that she
could fall in love with… true love. The
fairy-tale kind of love in which two people only
have eyes for each other.
That happens
in real life, she mused. There are couples like
that, right? Everyone's not getting divorced.
People do stay married, not just for
convenience, but because they really love each
other. There are black couples
like that, aren't there? All black men don't up
and leave, do they? They're not all like Bobby
or her father, are they? No answers came with
the questions. They just circled in her mind.
Ebony and Edward seemed to be
deeply in love, she reflected, as do Mahogany
and Joshua. But how long would that last? Her
own marriage had lasted four years officially.
She prayed that her sisters' would last much
longer. And since their spouses were black men,
too, she felt prayers were definitely going to
be needed.
Even with the negativity she
felt, however, she never said anything
derogatory about her ex-husband to Tiffany. As a
matter of fact, she made it a point to always
speak of Bobby in an affectionate and positive
manner. After all, he was her baby's daddy, even
though he hadn't been enthused about that fact
at the outset. His blood flowed through
Tiffany's veins; she had his eyes and nose.
Tiffany was proud to have a professional NFL
football player as a father.
Copper tried to make sure
that her little girl didn't suspect the
bitterness she felt towards Bobby, her own
father, and black men, period, for that matter.
"Doug called here twice for
you," Mahogany informed her as Copper walked
into the den, where her sister was watching the
NBA playoffs. "I told him that you took Tiffany
to church this morning. How long have you been
back?"
"I just got
here. I didn't want to block you in, so I parked
on the street. And who is Doug?"
"You know, the photographer
from the wedding yesterday," Mahogany reminded
her. "Where's Tiff?"
"She's walking up the street
with Moms and Tanz. Why is this Doug guy calling
for me?" Copper inquired, slightly annoyed.
Overly aggressive men were a definite no-no to
her. "And how did he get this number?"
"He's had this number for
several years now. He's an old friend of
Joshua's," Mahogany replied, referring to her
husband. "As a matter of fact, he photographed
my wedding. You don't remember him?"
"Hoggy,
that was two years ago. I had other things on my
mind. Why is he calling me?" She tilted her head
slightly to the side.
"There you go
leaning your head," Hoggy noted, knowing that
meant Copper was beginning to get angry. "Why do
you think he called, Copp? I guess he's
interested in talking to you. I mean, it's not
as if he's desperate with those light-brown
caramel eyes and a smile to die for. When they
say tall, dark and handsome, they're talking
about Doug Kenner."
"T, D and H is all
right, but.
. ." Copper started.
"T, D and H?" Mahogany
interrupted.
"Tall, dark and handsome."
"Oh, I forgot. You live in
alphabet city now: D.C., CIA, FBI, HEW, GNP,
HUD, BLT…"
"Okay, okay." Copper laughed.
"You got me that time. BLT, that's funny. But
anyway, having good looks is fine, but a man has
to have more than that."
"Hey, he's got more than
that. He has a great personality. Besides being
a good photographer, he's very witty. He's good
to people, and as the word goes, he really knows
how to turn a woman on, if you know what I
mean."
"No, I don't know what you
mean."
"I mean he goes past foreplay
to five-play."
"What? Who could have
possibly told you something like that?" Copper
wanted to know.
"I heard it through the
grapevine."
"Well, you'd better believe
that I'm not going to go out with someone who is
being talked about like that."
"Don't pre-judge. Give him a
chance. He should be calling back soon. I told
him to try back in an hour. He said he just
wanted to speak to you before you left tonight
for D.C. By the way, are Ebony and Edward going
to stop off there on their way back from the
Bahamas?"
"Yes, that's what they said
last night. I want to think of something special
to do for them."
"You'll come up with
something."
"I know, but you know how I
like to plan things out. At any rate, I'm going
upstairs to pack while Tiffany is outside."
"Are you going to talk to
Doug when he calls?"
"I have to think about that,"
she called out, halfway up the stairs.
Actually, she was going to
give it more thought than Mahogany would ever
imagine. Copper had been celibate since her last
sexual encounter with her husband, which was
more than a year before her divorce was
finalized, an abstention of over five years. Her
ex-husband, combined with her spiritual beliefs,
was actually the reason she began practicing
celibacy. When rumors about his unfaithfulness
started reaching her ears, she had stopped
having sex with him. She wasn't sure how long
her abstention would last, but prayer and faith
got her through. Initially, not having sex was
difficult, so she prayed that God would remove
the desire until she was married, again.
In fact, Bobby
was her one and only sexual partner.
During the first couple of years after her
break-up with Bobby, she went out on various
dates. She had even dated one guy, Thomas, for
ten months. He was considered one of the most
eligible black bachelors in D.C., but there was
a barrier and it was high. Although Thomas
seemed to be a good catch, he
didn't respect her decision to abstain. Instead,
he took it as a personal challenge to get her to
give in. Rather than compromise her beliefs, she
broke up with him.
That was when she concluded
there was another side to her personal problem.
Not only did she need to de-bond herself from
the memories of Bobby, but she had other
memories that caused her pain also. Memories of
a father who deserted her, memories of incidents
that were recounted when her girlfriends sat
around bashing black men, memories of things her
husband put her through with the gossip of his
disloyalty. Plus, she was affected by the
prevalent negative images of black men that was
being perpetuated in the media.
She had always felt that
Copper Patterson deserved more, deserved better.
She wanted the best that life had to offer, for
herself and for her daughter. No more heartaches
or headaches. She had been toying with this
course of action before, so she made a decision…
to de-bond herself from black men. She would
suppress any inclination to get involved with
them anymore on a serious basis. Maybe that was
why she had been having such a hard time finding
someone. Maybe her subconscious mind was trying
to steer her away from the brothers. Her job had
indoctrinated her to the professional white
world of Washington, D.C.
Okay, she vowed, she was
going to heed her subconscious mind. She decided
that her next meaningful relationship was going
to be with a Caucasian, when the right one came
along. Black men, with their hang-ups, would be
put on the back burner.
A few weeks after breaking it
off with Thomas, she was in Atlanta for
Mahogany's wedding. There was a full moon the
night of the ceremony, and the reception was in
full blast.
Earlier that day she had met
friends and co-workers of Joshua, the groom.
Jonathan "Buck" Buckner was one of them. A
good-looking, but slightly nerdy, white guy, who
happened to be at the foot of the stairs and saw
her wiping tears from her eyes after being up in
her room wondering if her Prince Charming would
ever come.
Buck appeared to be so
concerned, kind, and understanding as they went
out to the backyard and sat in the gazebo and
talked. She felt so vulnerable and weak. Looking
back, she imagined that must be how it felt to
talk to a therapist. Copper talked about
herself, and then he shared a little about his
life, and she grew comfortable with him. It
seemed only natural to exchange phone numbers
and make plans to have dinner together the next
day.
After dinner they went to his
condo, which was usually a no-no since she had
just met the guy. But she took a chance. The
music was right, and she felt very relaxed. She
distinctly remembered that there was a full
moon, because she had always heard that strange
things happened during full moons. This
particular evening she acted in a way that was
uncharacteristic of her usual self.
Before she knew it, Buck was
kissing her. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the
passionate kiss. Buck's hands began to caress
intimate parts of her body. She felt herself
becoming turned on. Even though she initially
felt pleasure, guilt suddenly overtook her. She
regained her senses and gently pushed him back.
"I'm not ready for anything
like that. Okay?" she announced with a friendly,
but firm look.
Licking his lips, he said,
"Your kisses sure taste sweet." He wiped the
corners of his mouth. "Okay," he gave in
reluctantly, "we'll have plenty of time."
Copper didn't know what he
based his comment on. Even though it had been
years since having sex with her husband, she
refused to give in to temptation. When she had
sex again, she would be married. The evening had
ended with Buck dropping her back off at Opal's
house.
"Copper, it's for you!"
Mahogany yelled, interrupting Copper's thoughts.
"I'll take it up here," she
answered, shaking her head at her sister's
teasing tone as she picked up the bedroom phone.
She waited until she heard her hang up
downstairs before she continued, "Hello?"
"Hello, babe," said the
masculine voice on the other end.
Right away it registered
whose sound it was. "Hi, Buck," she said with a
little vexation. "Now, you know I don't like
that term 'babe.'"
"Well now, you know I don't
mean anything by it," he began as an abrupt tone
was heard in Copper's ear, indicating another
call was coming in. "Is that you?" he asked.
"Of course, hold on please,"
she requested, quickly depressing the
switch-hook for a split second to get the other
call. "Hello?"
"Hello," a deeper male voice
greeted. "Is Copper in?"
"She's speaking."
"Hi, this is Doug," he
continued. "Are you on another call?"
How did he
know? she wondered. "Yes, I am. Can you
hold for a second?"
"Most definitely," he
assured, as she clicked back to Buck.
"Buck?" she asked as she did
so.
"It's me, babe-uh, I mean,
uh, Copper," he acknowledged. "Tell me, what
time are you leaving tonight? I want to get
together with you."
"Let me get back to you on
that," she responded. "I have another call right
now."
"Okey-dokey, I'm at home. You
have the number. Call me right back."
"Will do, bye." She clicked
back to Doug. "Hello?"
"I'm still here," he said. "I
could have called you back."
"No, they were ready to get
off the phone anyway."
"Tell me," he
inquired. "Why do females always say they
when they mean he?"
Copper chuckled. "Do we do
that?"
"All the time."
"What do men do?"
"When we say they, we mean
they. When we mean she, we say she. At least
that's what this man does."
"Hmmm, I guess men don't care
if their business gets in the streets and women
do," Copper reasoned.
"To me, stating the gender of
the person I'm talking to on the phone is not
putting my business in the streets." He
chuckled. "Now, more personal things are
something I would be more discreet about. But
using they in that instance indicates something,
and could be construed as being ashamed or
disrespectful to him, her or it, whoever you
were referring to."
"My, you're very
opinionated," she noted, withdrawing somewhat.
"I'm sorry." Doug relaxed
then changed subject. "Mahogany tells me you're
leaving late tonight."
"Yes, I have to punch in
early tomorrow morning."
She felt the question coming,
but she still had no idea what her answer would
be. What were Doug's intentions?
"I know you don't know me,
but your brother-in-law is one of my very best
friends. Both he and your sister can vouch that
you'll be safe with me."
"Okay, I believe you," she
said with an inner chuckle. "My sister did speak
very highly of you."
"Really? What did she say?"
"She said that you were a
nice guy," she related.
"See? So with that in mind, I
was wondering if I could take you out for a bite
to eat this afternoon," he went on.
"What do you like to eat?"
she asked.
"Mexican, Italian, Chinese. .
. "
"What about soul food?" she
wanted to say.
"…soul food," he went on.
"Now you're talking!" She
broke in, suppressing the laughter.
"Really? You want soul food?"
"I'll leave it up to you."
She smiled and then said seriously, "But why?"
"Why?" He was caught off
guard, she noted. "Because, because I saw you, I
heard about you for years and I would like to
talk to you, get to know you," he recovered.
There was total silence.
"Hello?" he called.
"I'm thinking," Copper
announced. And she was. She felt that de-bonding
herself from black men was essential if she was
going to have a meaningful relationship with
someone white. But it didn't mean she couldn't
have black male friends. This guy seemed nice,
she mused. She didn't know what he wanted, but
she knew what he wasn't going to get.
"Hello?" Doug re-called.
"Doug?" she asked.
"Yes?"
"How soon can you be here?"
she queried with a smile.
"I ain't there
yet?" was his rejoinder as they laughed and hung
up.
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